{Artist: Pietro Annigoni – Cristina I}

I have spent much of 2019 trying to tune in to the messages Heaven has brought to me. After a significant spiritual experience in November of 2018, I chose to be as still as possible in December. January has come in and I vacillate between wanting to get my rear in gear and seize the day and desiring to turn everything off in order to hear the Spirit that seems way too quiet sometimes.

Sometimes the world is too noisy and full of so many distractions that it is hard to connect to the Spirit. It sometimes seems like I get the slightest taste of Peace and Joy that can only come from Him and then the moment floats away and it is back to reality.  Without deliberate consciousness and intention, I can go days or weeks without truly connecting to His Light. And yet, my soul craves to savor those sweet moments of communication and revelation. I yearn to understand what is unfolding in my life and want to be present enough to see all that can be seen and learned from my experiences.

After carrying and delivering the Savior of the world, Mary might have felt that same pull. Do we focus on the day to day needs or step back and truly take in LIFE and the learning available if we will simply sit still?  Mary chose to be still, to tune in, to allow the Spirit to teach her more. Mary pondered.

“But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19) Tremendous experiences had unfolded and Mary tucked all those moments and memories inside her heart and started pondering them.  She didn’t just sit back, she actively sought to understand the miracles taking place. Mary models a beautiful example for us and I think all women will benefit from pondering more! Pondering means to carefully consider something. Pondering has given me key knowledge, wisdom, strength, understanding and peace over the years. Pondering is critical for me to learn more from the Savior and I love the time I spend thinking with the Spirit teaching me.

What types of things can we ponder? Anything! I often ponder scriptures, phrases, personal spiritual experiences, stories others have shared or experienced, events, experiences with my children, books, movies, nature’s mysteries.

Why do we ponder? Pondering allows us to more fully understand Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  Pondering allows us to imprint lessons upon our souls so we can use them to help others. Pondering allows us to come to more gratitude and wisdom.

How do we ponder? There is not one right way to ponder. For me personally, I have found I ponder best when I give myself permission to dive in and spend time thinking. Pondering can happen anytime but I have found that the early hours before my household wakes up, drive time, walks, yoga class all allow me to dive in and truly ponder.

As a productive mom and entrepreneur, there are always things demanding my attention and it is easy for me to not spend time pondering.  I have learned that pondering, though I don’t appear to be producing anything, is key to my personal development and growth. I need that quiet time to sort through my experiences and pick out the golden nuggets that God has for me at this time.  Here are some key tips to help you learn to ponder:

• Meditate daily. Communicate with your heart and with Heaven. Sit still and focus only on one single thought.  If you are like me, my brain takes me on twists and turns even if I try to meditate for only five minutes!  That’s okay.  Remind yourself to only focus on the single thought you are meditating upon.
• Journal your thoughts. Write down all you can.  I often open a Google doc or use the Notes app on my phone though I also use random notebooks.  I note what I am learning, what has happened, and my thoughts about whatever I am pondering. I also like to journal prayers and write letters back and forth with Heavenly Father.
• Step back from your day to day activities. Revelation can unfold when we let go of our normal activities and create sacred time blocks in our day. I have felt weird to not be on social media as much and to put my plane on airplane mode, but it is necessary at times for me to really tune in and ponder things.
• Study it out in your mind. Often I like to dive deep into a spiritual principle. I will study scriptures and talks about a particular topic and as my mind learns more, I am able to more deeply think about the ins and outs of what I am pondering.

What are you pondering in your heart? What will it take for you to spend more time with those important thoughts? What gifts will unfold as you allow your spirit to dive deeper and ponder?

I don’t always choose a Word of the Year but was pondering what may be right for me in 2019.  While sitting at Church, I told Heaven, “You choose the word and I will do it.” A risky faithful promise as sometimes I have learned some tough lessons from the Word of the Year (I don’t recommend choosing “patience” or “humility” for life surely provides enough of  these experiences without attracting more!) But after tuning into Heavenly Father’s plan for me, I knew there were lessons that He had prepared if I would open myself to the learning. The word immediately came to mind. Seek.

Seek me.

Seek learning.

Seek joy.

Seek miracles.

I started studying “seek” in the scriptures and found hundreds of references inviting me to trust the Lord and his promises. I loved the pattern I could see in the scriptures and knew seeking would bring depth and blessings. I then started studying  the Come Follow Me material and this question called me to answer: “What seek ye?”

I mentally thought through what I am seeking and immediately knew there is more for me. The Savior asks his disciples this question. Disciples who were already following Him!  I could see myself in these disciples.  I think I am listening to and following the Savior but there is much further to go! I could almost hear the Savior saying, “Okay. You found me in the midst of a crazy December but are you ready for me? Good for you for focusing for one month, but what do you really want now? What do you seek?”

The scriptures made it clear that mega revelations can happen by seeking. Count me in! I am seeking God and Jesus Christ. I am definitely seeking greater business success, better health, deeper relationships. I want to make an impact. I want more fun. I am seeking to be a better parent. I made a list on my phone of everything I am seeking and realized Heaven was giving me the perfect focus for 2019. My hope is to Seek Him in all that I do.

“I need to share something and it’s not good news. In fact, it’s really bad. And there is no easy way to say this but I was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer and it is ……”

My mind tuned out as soon as our therapist Megan* shared her news. My heart dropped and I felt sick for this woman who has led me through troubled waters. 

“It started in the colon and has gone to the liver and there are spots on the stomach lining…”

Ugh. I hate this. How could this even happen? My mind keeps wandering to the moments her wisdom carried us. This beautiful woman was an answer to prayers I offered as I navigated life with one of my children. Heaven brought her to me and I have learned so much sitting in her office. Feeling somewhat desperate and definitely frustrated/confused, I shared what was happening in our family and she immediately said, “Sounds like we need to build up some resilience.” In that moment, I felt hope because I suddenly had someone to help us in exactly the ways we needed right then. 

“Fortunately, the baby was born healthy and I am going to do everything I can to fight it. I want to walk into remission and live a long life and be there for my kids…my 3 children but also my other kids…like you.” 

Two weeks after delivering her newborn, Megan found out her body was covered in cancer. She presented our options and laid out what is going to happen as she fights for her life. She expressed her desire to keep working with us and that she planned to only keep four clients. She wanted to keep giving back to the world and not just be someone fighting cancer at home. Megan wanted to make a difference while she still could but also shared it may be hard to watch her health change as the chemo continues on. 

My heart broke as I watched my child process this and as I considered everything this means for Megan and her family. Three little kids, one of which is only a couple months old. One brilliant woman, fighting for her life. One husband, trying to find a miracle in a sea of brutal facts.

“How can this even be?” I find myself silently asking. “Be strong. Stay present. It’s not about you,” I remind myself.

And then I watch my teenager totally show up strong and vulnerable. I see him show up in love, focus in on her pain, and respond with the very things she has taught him to do. Resilience, faith, emotion come out. “We will pray for you, every single day. We will never stop and you will get better.” The tears flow for all of us. Megan instructs us to go home and talk about it – she doesn’t want us to feel obligated to come back if it is not right for us. My son immediately says he isn’t ready to be done and will walk this path for a while and will speak up if it gets too hard. We review her chemo schedule and talk about what the process will be like and then she says, “I don’t want my cancer to get in the way of what you need.” And my son says, “I don’t want what I need to get in the way of your cancer healing.”

Sheryl Sandburg wrote, “We plant the seeds of resilience in the ways we process negative events.” My heart swells with pride for both of them. They are both living and breathing resilience! How easy it would be for her to only focus on herself? And how easy it would be for my teenager to only think of his needs. In a time where so much selfishness exists in the world, we are practicing the skills of compassion, vulnerability, and resilience in this tiny office where healing takes place. This relationship has been miraculous. I could probably write a small book on what we have learned together sitting on her grey couch anchored on the floral rug that has never been centered quite right. Every single week I wanted to fix that rug and suddenly it doesn’t matter one bit.

We work through a couple of things and my son ends the session by saying, “I guess we will both be practicing resilience together this week.” To think that he is getting it! In the midst of his life lesson showing up in a way that breaks my heart, I feel so lucky and blessed and overwhelmed. This woman has helped my progress as a mother, provided key stability for our family,  and I can hardly process that now her own mothering future is in question. Her kids deserve to know how amazing she is. They deserve to know how she just understands teens and unites families. They should learn every tool she has to combat depression, anxiety, false thinking, self-confidence and more. My kid would not be able to respond to her unimaginable challenge if she hadn’t given of herself and invested in him. This isn’t fair. I know this may seem dramatic, but we had an immediate connection and Megan impacted our lives forever.

I come home and just lay in my bed and cry tears for what might happen and what might not. I can’t imagine where we would be if our paths hadn’t crossed and I can’t help but think how I can help her right now. The tears come in waves and roll down my face. My sleeves aren’t enough to handle the accompanying snot and it doesn’t matter because sometimes ugly crying is part of real life. Justin comes in and starts the diffuser. He can’t make this hurt go away but he knows the oils will help me gather myself and bring some balance back in. I roll some Comforting Blend and Rose on my heart and wrists. These two essential oils have never smelled so good and within minutes I have stopped crying, feeling grateful in this moment for the simple way oils can help in these moments of grief and confusion. The hurt doesn’t go away but the hope has woken up to accompany me in this unexpected experience.

“Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. It comes from gratitude for what’s good in our lives and from leaning in to the suck. It comes from analyzing how we process grief and from simply accepting that grief. Sometimes we have less control than we think. Other times we have more. I learned that when life pulls you under, you can kick against the bottom, break the surface, and breathe again.” 

Sheryl Sandberg, Option B

I start breathing again and realize that I am still here learning resilience while praying for a miracle. And while it hurts, and I wish I could make cancer go away, I can feel the gratitude and lean in, together, because that is what we have right now.  

I did it again. It always happens unintentionally. I’m moving with distinct vision and perfect clarity, keeping joy as a priority, when suddenly I realize I have gotten completely off track. I allow myself to get stuck in the busyness of life, I say “yes” to commitments when I should be saying “no,” I throw self care out the window, and I produce as much as I can for the outside world. I know better but I still fall into the trap of life. 

You see, I’ve learned this lesson before. I have learned that I do my best work when I prioritize joy. This is simply me scheduling time for fun, choosing into the spontaneity of fun instead of constantly choosing responsibility. Prioritizing joy means I whisper encouragement into my soul as I do things that just make me happy, because they make me happy. I allow joy to be the goal and the reason and remember I was created for joy.  I just came off a ten 10 business trip that was awesome and fabulous in so many ways. However, I tend to travel with a purpose and like to maximize my time while I am away. I found myself with a completely full schedule (which I like) and didn’t take time to explore the cities I visited. I stayed focused and engaged in my business appointments – and loved it! But my soul needs down time in order to thrive. When I am focused and producing in my business, I must also take time to increase my joy or else I end up burnt out! 

A few years ago my therapist gave me the assignment to practice joy every week. I became a student of joy, testing what actually made my heart sing and what I really didn’t enjoy doing. I marked “joy school” on my calendar so that I wouldn’t overbook myself and I took those appointments seriously. I tried new hobbies, experienced new things, returned to old playgrounds, and just made sure I was actually LIVING my life instead of just surviving it. I loved joy school because my eyes were opened, my heart expanded, and I received new ideas as I was out enjoying myself. As a result, my business and relationships thrived. Creating joy every day must be a priority in order to sustain growth and create happiness.

Your joy matters and if you don’t prioritize joy, it can disappear. Honor that little child inside that craves joy, that wants to  be carefree and engaged in fun. Serve her and she will serve you.

So how do you prioritize joy? 

• Say yes to the things that don’t make sense but make you smile on the inside. 
• Schedule “Joy school” and block time on your calendar and then protect that appointment. 
• Try something new. 
• Say no to something that you feel you “should” do that actually causes more stress than its worth. 
• Evaluate your time and make sure your down time truly fills your joy cup back up. 

What brings you joy? Is it scheduled on your calendar? Do you do something joyful every week? Every day? What would it take for you to have a little bit more joy? Do that!

As for me, I am taking time to write. Taking time to be fully present with my kids. Meeting up with friends. Working on some passion projects. Going to yoga. Eating yummy food that I made in my kitchen. 

Remember, you are worthy and deserving of JOY! Prioritize it now and watch your life fall back into balance!

Our role as parents, grandparents, and teachers is to lead, guide, and walk beside our children.  It is our privilege to help them become mature and capable adults, yet sometimes challenging curve balls our thrown at our children. The bumps in the road cause parents to want to do more to help their offspring more than they have in the past.  Loving parents grasp for tools, resources and inspiration that help a children deal with:

• Fear
• Self-doubt or confidence issues
• Relationship Issues
• Confusion
• Frustration
• Anger
• School and learning challenges
• Unhealthy behaviors
• And a host of other issues and concerns.

Wise parents use prayer, faith, and hope to bring miracles into their children’s lives.  I have found a few other tools that complement the other positive approaches you are already using to help your children.

1. Use the power of intention and your mind. Our intentions can create needed and desired miracles!

2. Think Positive. Our thoughts have energy and sensitive children pick up on this energy and often internalize whatever vibrations we are sending out.  As new challenges pop up with each child, a parent spends time thinking about what is going on, how the situation is impacting their child, and what can be done.  Kids pick up on these thoughts because EVERY THOUGHT HAS ENERGY TO IT!  If you are thinking and analyzing a particular child’s current challenge, always end your thoughts with loving TRUTHFUL affirmations. Examples to use include:

• I believe in you.
• You will be fine.
• You are stronger than any problem or challenge.
• We will help you.
• You are worthy of our love, concerns, money, and efforts.
• We love you no matter what.

Whether your child is a toddler or a child-adult, they need to be receiving positive energy and light flowing from you.  There is so much negative energy flowing from the world to our posterity, we must do all we can to flow the truthful powerful and positive statements we can to combat the negative.

3. Practice verbal affirmations with your child.  Children yearn to feel good and any chid who can talk can repeat positive affirmations.  Planting the affirmations in a young child’s brain is equivalent to building a solid foundation in a new building.  The building is added to brick by brick, but the foundation is the key to the building.  Think of the phrases that that run through your own head, don’t you want to be the one to plant the seeds that forever grow in your child’s mind?  Effective affirmations to begin with include:

• I am loved.
• I am heard.
• I am understood
• I matter.
• I am safe.
• The world welcomes me.
• I am talented.
• I belong.
• I am strong.
• I am healthy.
• I am good.
• I have angels with me.
• I am a child of God.

At our house, we effectively use affirmations to release the negative energy in a few common situations. The process is extremely simple, yet it works. Here are two examples:

• Fear:  When my son experiences fear, we wrap our arms around him and listen to his concerns.  We take deep breaths together and then replace the fears with truths. If he is scared at night, we use affirmations like, “I am safe. I will always be safe.  I can peacefully go to sleep.  I dream about things I love like Legos, Sea World, and family vacation.”  I have my child repeat the affirmations until he feels better and then send him back to bed.
• Self-doubt:  If my child doubts his ability to perform or learn or do anything, we use the same approach described above.  We listen and talk for a few minutes, take some deep breaths together and then move into the affirmations.  I have my child repeat affirmations like, “I am capable.  I will always be able to do great things.  I have help when I need it.  I am beautiful.  I am smart.  I am talented and I am discovering new things I love about myself.”  We repeat affirmations until I can see in the child’s face that he feels okay.  The face always tells me if a child truly feels okay or not.  Seeing his countenance change confirms that his energy has changed and the energy work is completed.

4. Create with your children. Drawing, dancing, reading, pretending, and imagining are just the beginning of creative activities you can do together.  Any type of creating will feed your child’s spirit.  Strive to allow your child to indulge in creative pursuits of all types.  We were created to create!  Engaging in any positive creative activity increases our energy because it allows our spirits to reconnect to our bodies and we feel replenished, recharged, and more capable.

5. Give ‘em some of your good vibrations! Japanese researcher Masaru Emoto conducted numerous studies exploring the energetic power of certain attitudes and words.  Love and gratitude were proven to be  two of the strongest vibrations available.  We all “love” our children and always carry that love for them.  But did you know you can send your children that love in a way they can immediately feel?

I find it helpful to visualize my love in order to “send” it to someone. Picture all the love you have for your child, imagine his birth, the good moments you have had with him, the moments of pride as you watched him conquer new activities, and times where you knew he is a special gift from Heaven.  Picture yourself just gathering pockets of love and putting them in a giant, ever-growing, overflowing basket or box.  I then will mentally ask that Heaven add whatever love can be sent to my child.  I picture sending the basket of love and my child opening it and receiving the love just like a special Christmas gift.  Sometimes others are closed to our energy vibrations. In this case, I just leave the “gift” for the recipient by their bedroom door and let them know it is there as soon as they are ready to receive it.  I have been amazed as I have sent “gifts of love” for my family members to receive.  I find the recipient always feels more whole, is more loving themselves, and is more at peace with the world.

A quick way to still send powerful energy to a child (or anyone!) is to just say, “I love you! I love you! I love you!”   You can also send gratitude, “Thank you! I appreciate you! You are wonderful!”

Have you ever felt an unexpected connection to someone in the middle of a busy day?  Perhaps they were either sub-consciously or consciously sending good thoughts your way.  Practice using these tools to help your children.  You will find your children (no matter their ages) will appreciate remembering their true selves and worth as you shift the energy in your family.

Hi, my name is Ashlee and I am a recovering perfectionist.  I thought I had healed this little flaw and found my way, but somehow perfectionism has crept back in.  A funny thing about healing perfectionism is the desire to do so perfectly.  🙂

I’m not sure exactly when perfectionism reared its ugly head again.  It happens subtly.  Things seem like they are going just fine and you haven’t changed a bit, but really vulnerability is gone and shame has come in.  Looking back, I can see the markers, but I didn’t realize what was happening.

I was surprised to see recently I had fallen into that old habit or trying to do things just right.  Perfectionism comes in silent but is like fast-growing cancer.  At first, I felt justified and believed I was holding back and procrastinating for good reasons. My desire to produce quality and creative work is important to me. I didn’t realize that perfectionism had crept in until I took an honest look at what is holding me back.

Perfectionism kills connection and fosters isolation.  Perfectionism smashes creativity and leaves daunting tasks in its wake.  Perfectionism rarely serves and often hurts.  Perfectionism is kind of like that friend in elementary school who was always on again-off again.  You never knew quite where you stood until you felt the familiar sting of shame.  You wonder why you thought you could trust her because you have already learned that when you play with fire, you definitely will get burned.  Yet, you keep hoping things will be different this time.

A few years ago, I worked with a therapist on several issues, including perfectionism.  I read “The Gifts of Imperfection” at the time and recognized my pattern of perfection was not helping me create a life I love. With practice and my therapist guiding me, I was able to create new patterns of thinking.  I embraced being messy, allowed myself to celebrate projects being done (not perfect), and experienced greater freedom, joy, and productivity as a result. 

Perfection tells us we can’t move forward until we have everything just right.  Perfection tells us we are foolish to try until we know everything.  The drive for perfection limits joy and contentment.  The funny thing is I KNOW I am not perfect.  I can point out very specific examples where I am consciously choosing NOT to be perfect.  My front living room has been completely empty with no furniture for nearly 1.5 years since we moved into this home. Visitors see a lone yoga mat in the corner and cheap curtains and ask what we plan to do with the room.  I am likely to be the one house on our street with weeds in the flower beds because I care more about picking mental weeds with my clients. I embrace quesadilla night and celebrate choosing to keep dinner simple rather than getting all fancy like I use to do. I just recently removed the spider web that has been hanging for 6 months.  My car looks like a battlefield complete with kid debris and dirty socks. I participate in flawed webinars where I wear the same pajamas 6 days in a row.  That’s right, I work in my pajamas! I let all kinds of things go because my therapist taught me how to do that.!  I learned to be perfectly comfortable choosing where I shine and making conscious choices to be imperfect regularly.  So I thought I had this perfection thing nailed!

And then the urge/prompting to grow my energy business came in.  I would tell my business friends about how committed I am to growing. I would carry on about my dreamy plans that really weren’t plans at all. As individuals contacted me over the last 6 months wanting to participate in my Purely Alive Mentorship, I would respond, “Oh yes!  I am absolutely relaunching soon!”  And yet, there was not a plan in place to make that happen.  I KNOW I need to do it.  I can feel the importance of sharing my knowledge and, yet, I’ve been stuck.  I could identify legit reasons I was stuck and worked on those, but I totally didn’t see that perfection was ruling me in my business.  I didn’t know I was stuck because I was hiding behind things like perfectly updating my materials and website.

I would lie to myself every single day.

“My website isn’t ready to support everything I am doing, so I am creating a new one.”

“I will post once I have a photo and logo together….”

“I am mixing things up and making them better.”

“I need to build my following a bit more and then I will have enough people.”

Blah, blah, blah.  You get the idea!  When we constantly look for a legit reason to not move forward, we are guaranteed to find that reason and stay stagnant.  I felt justified in my procrastination.  I wanted to provide better customer experiences and I want to be at the top of my game.  Who doesn’t want to do their best? Plus I had firm reasons excuses of why it didn’t make sense to move forward until I fixed things.

This little website?  I hate it.  It really doesn’t reflect what I currently do or who I am. It’s clunky and even the colors bug me. In truth, I have multiple websites “under construction.” Under construction like an abandoned NASA project without direction or a solid plan to move forward.

All my headshots are 3 years old or more. How are people going to connect with me if my headshots are outdated?   I’m totally ready for new ones and will schedule them as soon as I drop a few pounds and find something I love to wear…or maybe it is that I am looking for just the right photographer.

My email drip campaigns are a mess, but I’m totally rewriting everything and it will be awesome when it is done…soon.

And then we get into the other judgments.  These are the ones that really stopped me in my tracks.  “I majored in marketing – what is wrong with me and why can’t I figure this out! What will people think?  What if nobody comes? What if I bite off more than I can chew and fail?  Who am I to run a multi-million dollar direct sales team AND be an energy coach?  If everything is energy and I really have it all figured out, I shouldn’t struggle and the people around me shouldn’t either.”

I would go to bed praying about how to take the next step and then run into fear and perfection every single morning.  I was subconsciously comparing myself to every other educational experience or coach in my world. I could see so many ways I needed to improve in order to justify my offering. I took multiple marketing classes and connected with some of the best coaches, all with the intention to learn what I needed to know to have a solid business launch. I didn’t realize that I was filling my head with information which was pushing out my inspiration. You see if I get quiet, the one thing I know is that I was born to work in this space.  I was born to connect others with themselves.  I was born to be purely alive and help others become purely alive.  I am here to help others let go of the false beliefs that hold them back and empower them to be present and happy!

I keep having the thought, “I need to launch my program.”  And then I self-sabotage or get busy working on noncritical pieces.  In reality, I need to just do it.  I need to trust that the right people are ready.  I know they are.  I can’t even remember or count the people who have asked me to open the doors on this!  Inspiration tells me that people are looking for exactly what I offer.  Inspiration tells me to trust myself and move forward, even though.  Inspiration says the time is now and so with full trust in heaven and myself, I am launching.  I am ignoring the quest for perfection and moving forward because it is what I was born to do. I am officially I am opening the doors on enrollment for my Purely Alive Mentorship regardless of the marketing being ideal. The class materials are ready and are exactly what is needed in by so many people right now.

After more than ten years of working with clients,  I created the Purely Alive Mentorship as a 6 month course and offered it for the first time last year. As I prepared the material for our calls each week, I could feel heaven open and the material practically wrote itself.  I knew that I was being used by God to empower my students.  And guess what?  I didn’t hold back waiting for perfection – no, I simply leaned in and a beautiful offering beyond my own talents was created. I had so much fun helping my students discover who they really are, how to access and rely on their spiritual gifts, how to deepen their trust in and understanding of God, how to hold joy and peace, and how to help others with the blocks we all face.  The good work that happened wasn’t because of me, but I was able to tune in and bring something unique to the world.

More than perfection in the worldly sense, I want to be in perfect alignment with God’s will for me.  The “sweet spot” of being on His errand, while using my talents and gifts to help others, is the exact place I want to be working. Last year, I thrived working with my Mentorship students and I didn’t need a perfect website because I relied on Him.  Sure, I will keep moving forward to get my marketing in line with my vision, but in the meantime, there are people waiting and it is time. My top priority is not going to be setting up all the stuff to go make a difference to people.  I want to make a difference to people right now, with what I have today. Perfection isn’t me but leaning into faith is totally where I shine.

Here’s to letting perfection go (again).  Here’s to trusting God. Here’s to deciding enough is enough and done is better than perfect.  Here’s to making a difference despite our imperfections.  Here’s to growing and becoming.  Here’s to choosing in.  Here’s to bravery and joy.  Here’s to connection and creativity and living on purpose.  Here’s to being Purely Alive.

Entrepreneurs have it made! Set your own hours! Be your own boss! Decide what you do and when you do it. It is awesome to be an entrepreneur until you don’t want to do what needs to be done. And if you are like most people, as soon as you fall into the funk of not wanting to do the tasks at hand, you engage in self sabotage.

Self sabotage is taking subtle actions that destroy your long term goals and take you off course.

Here are 5 ways to identify your own self-sabotage:

1 – You are avoiding simple tasks or people that can help you. Procrastinating that one text or phone call is a sure sign that you are not doing the simple actions that create long term success. My favorite way to stop procrastinating is to ask myself, “What is the tiniest step I can do to move in the right direction on this project?” We can cover a lot of ground by taking small, tiny courageous steps. Moving forward with tiny steps is still moving forward.

2 – You are engaged in negative self talk. Negative self talk can be as simple as criticising the work you are getting done or completely bashing yourself about every aspect of your life. You are not the worst person ever or the messiest person alive! You may be someone that has gotten overwhelmed and discouraged but this doesn’t mean you are not amazing and destined for success. The fastest way I have found to change the habit of negative self talk is to utilize regular postitive affirmations. There are many ways to change your thinking but it always starts with choosing a new and better way.

3 – You become a very creative storyteller. My stories usually start like this…”They probably aren’t interested. I am probably bugging them. They would tell me if they wanted to come…they probably hate that I do oils…I am so annoying…she is probably mad at me because she didn’t like my post…” Blah, blah, blah! When we self-sabotage we create complete and often detailed stories about things that aren’t true. The interesting thing is that your brain can’t tell truth from fiction. You can actually trick your brain into believing other creative stories like, “She is probably just hoping I will reach out and call… she is probably too shy to tell me she is interested…” you get the idea. Be creative, but use your storytelling to create stories that empower you and drive you forward toward your goals.

4 – You eliminate your self-care. When you quit doing the basics – washing your face, taking your vitamins, getting out in the sunshine, eating meals at regular times, exercising – you are telling yourself that your health and wellness doesn’t matter. When I skip self care, I fall quickly into negative self-talk and keep up the self-sabotage madness. Choose simple self-care activities, create appointments with yourself or others to make sure you don’t ignore your number one asset, YOU!

5 – You focus on situations or activities that don’t really matter. I know it is time for self-evaluation when I start worrying about what others are doing. I know it is time to refocus my attention when I start checking Facebook every ten minutes instead of doing truly valuable income-producing activities. I know it is time to let go and release when I am rehashing a frustrating conversation in my head over and over. Stopping to ask myself, “Who am I? What do I really want?” can be a helpful reset when I am allowing my focus to drift. If I find I am really stuck in the self-sabotage cycle, talking with a friend or someone that inspires me reminds me that I really do have goals I want to achieve and that I CAN do it.

It is natural to fall into self-sabotage, the trick is having a plan for those moments so that you can end the cycle quickly and make the most of your work hours. Lately, I have found that I quit my own self sabotage and move forward when I break my tasks down into smaller parts and choose to give even just 5% more effort.

As an entrepeneur, you must develop the skills to put yourself back on track! You are bigger than the distractions. You are meant to grow and change. When you find yourself off course, you can always redirect your energy and move forward towards your goals. Don’t let self-sabotage rule your life. Take control and choose actions that lead to your ultimate desires. Think about it – What is you really want? Are you doing anything to self sabotage yourself? What is the smallest step you can take right now to grow your business and let go of the self sabotage cycle? I know you can do it and I can’t wait to see you grow!

We all have those days and moments where we forget we are powerful creators, destined for happiness and success.  Music has a huge impact on our spirits and this playlist was designed to lift you up, inspire you, and help you remember that you really can do great things!  I use this playlist when I am feeling down or disconnected from my purpose.  The lyrics of each song are positive, inspire action, and help me to be in tune with my own power.

You may find one song sticks out to you and causes you to move towards your goals – listen to it as many times as you need to because you really do deserve to feel good and be happy!

1. Fight Song – Rachel Platten

2. You’re Not Alone – Marie Miller

3. Roar – Katy Perry

4. Let it Go – Idina Menzel

5. Best Day of My Life – American Authors

6. Brave – Sara Bareilles

7. Live Like a Warrior – Matisyahu

8. Good Time – DJ Fit Hits

9. Life – Beckah Shae

10. I lived – One Republic

11. On Top of the World – Imagine Dragons

12. Now is the Start – Fine Frenzy

13. Dare You to Move – BYU Vocal Point

14. Take On the World – Rowan Blanchard & Sabrina Carpenter

15. Newsies Medley: Seize the Day – BYU Vocal Point

16. Glorious – David Archuleta

I am seeing tons of social media friends determined to simplify!  I have friends clearing out their homes to go live on the road in RVs, I have friends clearing out the clutter, and I have friends saying “no” more often.  Perhaps we all need to simplify one aspect of our lives or another.  Seeking greater happiness, my friends are recognizing that material things and picture perfect lives are not where joy is found.  Joy is found in giving ourselves permission to be ourselves!  Joy is achieved by listening to the voice inside and honoring what she knows.  She is a smarty pants, but sometimes we completely ignore her, which often leads to frustration and unhappiness.

Too often we say yes to the wrong things.  And we tell ourselves no to the activities that would actually cause us delight.  We keep belongings that no longer serve us.  (I know you are not a hoarder, but do you have anything around your home that no longer serves you?)  We ignore our intuition in order to please others.  We stifle our own desires either because we are fearful of disappointing others or because we just don’t stop and listen to our spirits!

Happy lives can be found in learning to ask and truthfully answer fantastic questions.  Here is the litmus test that can be applied throughout your life:

Does this spark joy??

As commitments and opportunities come your way in your business, you will know if you should participate if you simply ask yourself those four words. Does speaking at this event spark joy?  Do I feel a spark of joy when I think about partnering with that person?

Does this pair of size ultra-small-maybe-some-day-they-will-fit jeans hanging in my closet spark joy? Or do they bring in a different feeling?  If they don’t spark joy, I need to pass them on to some skinny toothpick that will find delight in them!

Does going to meet my friends with the kiddos in the park spark joy in my heart?  Some days, yes!! This week?? I chose to just get back in bed and read my Kindle!  Yes, I could have gone to the park and would have had fun – but truthfully my spirit craved some quiet time.  So without any judgement and a little giggle, I got back in bed in the middle of the afternoon.  This simple indulgence did spark joy!!

I am not suggesting you give up on life and get back in bed every day – but I am challenging you to be honest with yourself and seek joy.  Let go of the activities that no longer lift and inspire you. Commit to find sparks of joy in both your life and business.

Your heart knows!! Your heart is designed to give you that little spark so that you can find the things that truly make you happy!   We should be experiencing sparks of joy on a daily basis.  We are meant to be happy but it is up to us to create that in our own lives.  When we increase our joy, we naturally increase our positive energy.

Try this simple tool out and let me know how it works for you!

I have found it helpful to have reminders of what I am creating.  Enjoy these Facebook cover images to help keep you focused on your vision.