One hour before throwing a surprise birthday party for my soon-to-be 15-year old, I called a friend to ask a small favor and as soon as she said, “Hello,” I knew.
“What is wrong? I can hear it in your voice. You are not doing well.” She started crying and said she wasn’t doing well at all. Postpartum darkness had settled in and it felt ugly. Nothing makes you feel like you are not enough like the times you don’t have what your children need. Milk production was a continuous struggle and fatigue left my friend completely depleted. Everyone knows that when you are depleted, every part of life feels harder. I immediately felt prompted to help her and started asking questions.
We talked about shame and not being enough.
We talked about letting go of comparisons and expectations. We talked about all the pain and hurt. We cried and decided that maybe focusing on the next fifteen minutes was the best goal for right now. I poured belief into her, knowing that she has unique gifts inside her that WILL come out. The cracks are present right now but we all know that is when the light starts to come through. We took some deep breathes and talked about all the hard things. All the real thoughts that are tormenting her, how beautiful her new baby is and how much guilt she feels as a mother/woman/wife. And we cleared out all the lies that are shouting at her in every tender moment. And hope was found as we talked back and forth for the next 30 minutes.
The call was inspired. I was able to clean the toilet, do dishes, pick up messes, make whip cream and a charcuterie board all while receiving distinct and clear inspiration that my sister needed in that very moment. She shared that her desperation had been so overwhelming and how she didn’t know what to do. What she needed most was to be seen, heard, and loved no matter what. She needed to remember that she is enough, whether she has enough milk or not. She needed to remember that she belongs, even when she isn’t liking herself.
She belongs and so do you. Even though and especially when.
This week, I have done 3 impromptu calls like this from women that I love and count as sisters. These women are like you. Women with deep reservoirs of faith that still want to know, “Will it work out? What is going to happen? Does God see me? And do I even belong?”
The adversary (lower case a because he doesn’t deserve the respect of a capitol A!) is seeking to destroy us. He wants us to feel broken and without hope. He wants us to forget our divine heritage, our eternal missions, and our connection with each other. He wants us to feel inadequate and foreign, forgetting our tools to survive. His entire goal is to create unhappiness and dispair. He wants you to forget you are a powerful Goddess in training. A woman destined to be a force for Good on the earth. A woman created for joy that impacts thousands. He wants us to forget we are in the midst of a beautiful story. He wants us to believe our ugly stuff won’t be accepted and that we are never enough. He succeeds when we disconnect from our royal truths and it is those very truths that will set us free and give us the courage to fight back.
He will tell you that you aren’t enough if you don’t do this or that. It’s a lie.
He will tell you that you aren’t enough if you don’t have this or that. It’s always a lie.
The truth is that you do belong!! The lies will tell you that you aren’t enough and won’t be accepted and absolutely don’t belong because you are different. And it is never true. Your differences, your challenges, your brokenness is what makes you just like the rest of us and you do belong.
The truth is that God does see you. He sees your pain, your brokenness, your heartaches and struggles and He is fighting for you to remember your true self. The beauty inside that isn’t based on what kind of mascara you use or if you made it to the gym or if you set the table tonight. The beauty that is you because you are His. The beauty that only increases as you age and become more of who you already are.
The truth is that you are enough and always were. Not because you did all the things or achieved this or that, but because He declared it and paid for it. This type of “enoughness” can’t be taken from you and can’t be purchased. It can only be accepted and felt one moment at a time until you suddenly remember and believe that you are enough, right here, right now, even though and especially when.
The truth is that it will work out, but it may be a bit of a ride in the process. The challenges are real for all of us and we all have moments of despair but we must remember that we are partnered with a God who loves creating miracles. That is what He does and focusing on His power to sustain, to lift, to create, to carry, to provide is the only way we can handle the seasons that stretch us.
The truth is that all of know these things and all of us forget so we need each other! We need to share our moments of pain and allow others to carry us and cover us in prayer. We need to share that we feel broken and where we find solace and how we heal. We need to share our belief in God and our battles with the adversary. We need to share our shame and our pain and how we survive and overcome the daily challenges. Because in that vulnerability, we come out of hiding. We discover we aren’t alone and we find the answers to surviving the next 15 minutes. Sharing our experiences opens our personal power and we connect to an eternal power that unites us all.
We all struggle and we all have heartaches, but we are enough and belong. Always. We just need to sometimes be reminded of those truths.