Just because you have a bad day or just because your child had record-breaking all around rotten day, you are not a failure. One of the quickest ways to feel down about yourself is to concur with your adversary that you are failing in any one area of your life. I have noticed that it is all too common for women to feel like they are failing at motherhood. What a cruel joke. Just because a day fails to please you and does not meet your own standard, does not mean that YOU are a failure. Please stop giving in to the lies the adversary sends your way.
“Failure” does not exist unless you allow it to be part of your world. Refuse to be defined by outcomes and momentary setbacks. Recognize that you can take any moment and learn from it and then your previous “failures” will become something that provided knowledge that pushed you forward toward your goals. It is good to discover the way not to do something and it is great that we get to try a new approach tomorrow. Own your own power and feel gratitude that you can try again tomorrow. As Johnny Cash said:
Out with failure and in with gratitude and positive thoughts!
If you believed that you could do anything, what would it be? I love the phrase, “She believed that she could and so she did.” Half of accomplishing anything in this life seems to be just in believing that we can do great things.
I have been putting my positive thinking towards preparing for the upcoming birth of our newest family member. My top goal is a healthy baby and happy mom, but my ideal is to have a natural painless, medication-free birth experience.
The sick-filled days of the past 7 weeks required me to dig deeper to stay positive, grateful, and focused. I learned several things during that time – one of which is empathy for those dealing with either chronic illnesses or depression. As days turned into weeks, it was a bigger stretch for me to be happy and think the right way. I was reminded that the days where I consciously choose my attitude are so much easier. “She believed she could, so she did,” ran through my head over and over.
Too often in calls with my clients and friends, I hear things like “I just can’t do it,” “I can’t keep going,” or “I am done…I can’t do it.” I have had those thoughts too, and find that once I start down that path, it is too easy to go all the way. How quickly negative thinking turns our world upside down! These lies are indeed lies! We are the only ones who determine when we CAN’T do something and when we CAN. Sure, there are those days that really knock us over, but usually just believing in ourselves makes enough of a difference that we CAN do the thing we previously believed impossible.
One of my biggest times of vulnerability is in the five o’clock hour when I already have put in a full day mothering, dinner needs to be created, and nerves (mine and the boys!) are hanging by a thread. I start to think, “I am done…I can’t do anymore…It is not in me to make dinner…I can’t keep the house clean..I am out of patience…” This thought pattern is a bit like stepping on a never-ending merry-go-round that is not any fun and only makes one dizzy.
I have been trying to spot the times that I let negative thinking dictate my outcomes. In general, I am an optimistic person and easily lift myself up out of the funks. Answered prayers always play a role, but it is always key to first start thinking up. Thinking up means I look towards heaven for help, I replace my negative thoughts with positive truths, and I start finding the silver linings in my situations. It never fails that once I start thinking I can do something, that the power and resources to actually do it appear!
Try it this week…when you face the mountain you think you can’t climb or the situation that has enough trouble in it to make you quit, change your thinking! Repeat to yourself, “She believed that she could, so she did.” I also then tell myself, “I can and I already am.” You were born to do great things, life was meant to be enjoyed, and you do have what it takes to master your challenges!
I just finished reading Yann Martel’s Life of Pi. The best part of the book was Chapter 56, which perfectly describes fear.During almost every client session, fears are released and replaced with affirmations. Fears are limiting to our progress and performance. Do you have fears that need to be released? Schedule a private session and live your best life as you feel free to become your best self.
I must say a word about fear. It is life’s only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does away with it with little trouble. You become anxious. Reason comes to do battle for you. You are reassured. Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. Your anxiety becomes dread.
Fear next turns fully to your body, which is already aware that something terribly wrong is going on. Already your lungs have flown away like a bird and your guts have slithered away like a snake. Now your tongue drops dead like an opossum, while your jaw begins to gallop on the spot. Your ears go deaf. Your muscles begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees to shake as though they were dancing. Your heart strains too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. And so with the rest of your body. Every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, falls apart. Only your eyes work well. They always pay proper attention to fear.
Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last allies: hope and trust. There, you’ve defeated yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over you.
The matter is difficult to put into words. For fear, real fear, such as shakes you to your foundation, such as you feel when you are brought face to face with your mortal end, nestles in your memory like a gangrene: it seeks to rot everything, even the words with which to speak of it. So you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don’t, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you.
A simple Belief Breakthrough session, either group or personal, releases the fears that keep us stuck. This type of healing is amazing because you can permenantly release the fears that previously had the potential to torment you for days on end. I often work with business men and women that are embarking on new projects and opportunities. They are driven, inspired, and committed to their success, yet fears creep in and nearly paralyze them from moving forward. A quick appointment allows my clients to let go of those fears and other blocks that have kept them stuck, so they are free to enjoy their lives and new prosperity. I love helping my clients experience their true selves!
Remember the Verizon commercial where the Verizon guy points out that he is backed up by a giant network? Did you know that our ancestors are just like that? I also have thought that if you consider how many ancestors are behind you (think of a pedigree chart), it does not take very long to have hundreds of angels cheering you on.
My final thoughts are because someone I know that does not believe in the help of angels to the same extent that I do…He feels that if angels are helping us so much, why is there still a struggle or how can I have a bad day if I am aware of the help of angels? I have considered his important questions and come to a few conclusions.
First, this life was meant to give us earthly experiences and also to prepare us for our eternal destiny. It seems to me that those experiences are to build our strengths. Perhaps we will need those particular strengths in the future while we are on earth, or even in the life to come. It is valuable for us to learn we are stronger than we know, to realize our faith was sufficient – these lessons are not for God to see what we are made of (as He already knows), but for us to see we are better than we think we are.
Second, angels will not do what we can do for ourselves. We have our agency and we are capable people. We must at times, be like Nephi, and move forward not knowing beforehand how things will work out. But we have been promised that as we step forward and accept our circumstances, angels will help us and we will have our vision opened.:
All of you know that we believe in the mi
nistering of angels. You also know that angels will not do for us what we can do for ourselves. For them to do so would be contrary to the order of heaven. If angels will not do for you what you can do for yourself, be assured that the Holy Ghost will not do it either. It is not the design of heaven that we be rescued from all difficult situations. Rather, it is the system that we grow up and learn to handle them.
The sense of being overwhelmed is very much a part of the jour
ney. The power with which God clothes us in His holy temples does not suppose that the journey we have been called to make will be an easy one.
Nevertheless, the path we seek will always be clearly marked by the covenants we have made and the callings we have received. It is in the accepting of our lot and moving forward with what the Lord has asked of us that we discover that the Holy Ghost enjoys our company, angels feel constrained to join us, and the heavens open to our vision. (Joseph Fielding McConkie, BYU Devotional)
Finally, there are times where I think we could have additional help, but our stubbornness, our personality, or attitude get in the way. Joseph Smith said, “If you live up to your privileges, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates.” If I want to mope around and feel sorry for myself, I am not living
up to my privileges and will likely not feel the help of angels. In that situation, angels may or may not be “round about” trying to bear me up, but it will not matter if I am too busy focusing on my lot rather than on the many blessings I have available to me.
And because he hath done this, my beloved brethren, have miracles ceased? Behold I say unto
you, Nay; neither have angels ceased to minister un
to the children of men. Moroni 7:29
The fact is that angels are here and miracles are still happening, I just hope that my eyes are open enough to see the miracles that are happening every day.
While I strongly believe in the help of angels, it is secondary to the constant companionship that comes from the gift of the Holy Ghost. President Wilford Woodruff said to J. Golden Kimball: “Now, Brother Kimball, I have had visions, I have had revelations, I have seen angels, but the greatest of all is that still small voice.” I love that we have the gift of the Spirit with us and that we also have a huge network of angels backing us up!